Timmy’s Birth
I will preface this birth story by saying that I went to hospital with my first baby when I was 8cm dilated - and with my second was in there barely 4 hours before birth. We expected this one to be pretty speedy, but we didn't realise how much work would be done before Timmys birthing day.
I saw Alex at 37 weeks - he was super low in my pelvis - and that night had some noticable tightenings. But I really wasn't ready for my baby to arrive. Everyone was on stand by though and expected him to be early, or at least on time.
Many nights over the next few weeks were spent on the birthing ball in front of the fireplace - drinking chamomile tea, and feeling baby work through some big moves to get into a good position.
On my due date I attended birth prep - Alex walked out of her room and looked down the stairs to see me laughing, drinking coffee and eating an almond crossiant - I saw her shoulders drop - there was definitely no baby arriving today!
Then the wait really began, and we employed all the tricks in the book - clary sage in the diffuser, chiro and plenty of lunch time sex
On Monday 21st June - 1 week past my estimated due date - I asked Alex via text if we should consider a stretch and sweep. She felt there wasn't sufficient evidence to do one at this point and I was happy to agree. Alex was confident my body would get things going soon enough, especially once I relaxed.
I continued with my day and at 7pm started having strange niggles - my husband went out for krispy kremes and I messaged Alex at 9.20 as the tightenings started to become regular - though they were all through the front of my belly, which was odd as normally I back labour. Ava, our 8 year old, sang and danced to the 'mamas gonna give birth to Timmy tonight' song she had made up. Delightful.
These tightenings ended up progressing into prodromal labour that continued on and off until Tuesday evening when they were 3 in 10 but perfectly managable and just annoying more than anything. I managed to get 5 hours sleep Monday night upon Trents insistance - this was a good call. I carried on going to morning tea, bought groceries and ran errands on Tuesday, and we ended up calling Alex at 5.30pm - she decided she would come over and check what was up.
Alex arrived, and the tightenings stopped.
Completely. Dead.
Alex had a feel of my belly and baby was sitting left posterior - she advised he had a quarter rotation to make, and that he needed to do that by himself, or the surges needed to be strong enough to help him. She offered to stay for an hour but I insisted she go home and get some rest in case things progressed once it was dark and quiet. The kids were at mums for a sleepover, so we relaxed and had indian take out and a quiet night.
I had a bloody show about 10pm - my first baby had been born 16 hours after my show so this was encouraging. Laying on the lounge over some pillows I was exhausted, but about 11pm started noticing an intense lower back ache, and the kind of hip spreading I normally experience later in labour.
Trent tucked me into bed and he promptly went to sleep...I did not. I rested on my left hand side, with a heat pack to try and keep comfortable. Eventually the back ache progressed into the surges I recalled from my previous births- now I remembered
I worked quietly by myself, visiting the toilet every half hour and heating the heat pack until they became regular. By 3am I was rolling onto my hands and knees to work through the surges and at 3.30 decided to wake Trent for support. The surges had been 3 in 10 since 3am, so I told Trent if I had 9 more before 4am we would call Alex. After watching me for 20 mins he didn't wait for the 3 in 10 - he knew this was it and called Alex before 4am, as he knew how quickly I might progress, especially when I mentioned hitting the shower
This was where I normally transitioned.
Alex was on her way - I took my birth affirmations from my bedside and tried to hang them up while working through the surges and lighting candles. Trent got the fireplace going, and I rung our birth photographer Zoe at 4.26am before jumping in the shower, as she was coming from Coomera. Alex arrived while I was in the shower - she didn't kill the surges this time
I laboured quietly in the shower while the pool was prepped, then hopped out so it could be filled. From about 5am I chatted to Alex between surges, plucked my eyebrows, settled the cat in front of the fire
I ran to the bedroom for each surge, as I needed to be on hands and knees with the heat pack over my lower back. Zoe arrived just after 5.30am, and Alex made the decision to call Jannie before the pool was ready - she could tell baby wasn't far away. I recall telling Alex I could feel him moving, and that there was so much pressure.
The pool was ready just before 6am - I remember asking Alex - am I undies on or off?
She lifted one eyebrow and said firmly 'Definitely off'
Hopping into the pool another surge began - they were becoming more intense, and there was an increase in pressure. Alex settled me in the pool with gentle hands, pushing my hair back from my face, and Trent used a jug to pour hot water over my lower back. I settled into the pool on my knees, drinking chamomile tea and water. Trent put on an Ed Sheeran playlist - although I was 9 days late I had still neglected to make my birthing playlist. This was perfect though as our first dance song came on - all the oxytocin!
I told Alex I could feel baby moving down - she reminded me to vocalise in low tones and she said confidently 'you've got this Jess'.
About 6.30am Alex asked me to lunge forward on my left leg. This was exactly the help baby needed, as the surges became suddenly more intense. He was so close - at 6.43 my waters broke - this was the pressure I had been feeling. In the next surge the whole of his head was born - I recall feeling the 'pop' of his head on the left hand side, and at 6.48 in the next surge Timmy was born. He tried to shoot out on the outside of my leg - Alex calmly directed him to the inside and just said 'pick up you baby, Jess'.
I don't recall seeing him in the water, although there's a picture of me looking at him - I just somehow knew where he was.
One of my favourite quotes is that
'Women in labour
leave their bodies
Travel to the stars
Collect the souls of their babies
And return to this world together'
This is truly how birth feels, to me.
Birth at the end is sometimes very overwhelming - I feel I'm returning from somewhere. Re-entering the room as such - and my belly is suddenly empty but my arms are full. I cried, and Trent cried, and it was magic.
We had planned delayed cord clamping, but the cord was only 30cm long - within 5 mins Timmy had recieved all of his blood, which was just aswell as I couldn't bring him higher than my chest. I decided to cut the cord in the pool to make exiting easier. After Trent cut the cord, I was helped to stand up and Alex asked me to give a push, if I could. The placenta was birthed perfectly, and physiologically, barely 10 mins post birth.
I was settled onto the lounge with baby, and fed porridge for brekkie while he had a go at latching. I had no tearing again which was excellent. We chatted to our kids before they went to school, and after skin to skin with baby I had a long warm shower while Trent took Timmy to have skin to skin on our bed. It was perfect.
We were so grateful to have the most wonderful birthing team with us for our final birth. Alex was an amazing support throughout my pregnancy - we worked through the possibility of Gestational Diabetes again, which I had been diagnosed with during my second pregnancy - as well as my fears regarding the home birth I knew deep down I really wanted. On the day I wasn't worried at all though - I felt safe, and cared for, and supported. More than anything I felt Alex believed in me, and my body. She knew I didn't need a stretch and sweep - she knew I didn't need any VE's, and she knew that I would work with my baby to birth him when he was ready.
We cannot thank her, and Jannie, enough, and can only hope that one day all women in Australia will have access to the golden standard of care that private midwives offer